Faux Crab Cakes for One

The only thing this recipe has in common with crab cakes is, well, everything but the crab. If you wanted to make it taste a bit more like crab, you could sprinkle in some flakes from that spice that’s rather vaguely called “Crab Boil,” but I like these just fine. The tofu will take on any flavors you want it to, so you could also easily go Italian, Chinese, Mexican, or anything you can imagine!  

1 teaspoon olive oil

1 slice yellow onion, diced

¼ carrot, diced fine or shredded

8 ounces firm or extra firm tofu, pressed and crumbled (about a cup)

1 ½ teaspoon cornstarch

1 TBLSP nutritional yeast

½ rib celery, diced small

Slosh of dry white wine

Sprinkle of salt

Grind or two of black pepper

Squirt of lime or lemon juice

1/3 cup breadcrumbs, finely ground

Another sprinkle of salt

1/3 cup all-purpose flour

1/3 cup almond milk (any non-dairy milk will do)

Oil for frying

1. Sauté the onions and carrots in olive oil until they’re soft, about 5 minutes. Add the garlic and cook for another minute, until you can just begin to smell the garlic. Place it in a bowl (it’s going in the refrigerator).
2. To the onions and carrots, add the tofu, cornstarch, nutritional yeast, celery, wine, salt, pepper, and lemon juice, and mix until thoroughly combined.
3. Refrigerate for 30 minutes.
4. Put the flour in a plate or small, low-edged bowl.
5. In another small bowl, combine the breadcrumbs and salt.
6. In another small bowl (perhaps your measuring cup), pour the milk. It needs to be shallow enough that you can get most of your hand in there along with the patty.
7. Form a small patty and coat it with the flour. Then dip it into the milk. Finally, coat it in the breadcrumbs.
8. Refrigerate for another 30 minutes.
9. Heat the oil to medium-high, and then fry your little patty first on one side, and then, flipping with a spatula, on the other. Try to only flip it the one time, as it will be fragile.

Serve atop greens, between buns, or snarfle them down sauced and alone with all the mad fervor of a thousand rabid dogs.

 In the photos, you can see that I’ve served it with sides of banana ketchup (recipe coming), plum sauce, and carrot and rice sauce (also coming soon).